Yardbarker
x
The NFL distraction playbook
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced some changes for the 2017 NFL season this week. Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

The NFL distraction playbook

This week spelled the end of the strangest NFL mystery in recent memory, the whereabouts of Tom Brady’s stolen Super Bowl jersey. In fact, the resolution only made the controversy more bizarre in retrospect. It turns out two Brady Super Bowl jerseys were missing, including one we didn’t even know about, along with a Von Miller Super Bowl helmet.

That a Mexican journalist is the suspected thief only adds to the intrigue. But of course someone came along to ruin the fun by pointing out this is a frivolous story in the grand scheme, even in terms of sports news. In some ways, being a follower of the NFL is like trying to exist in the horrors of present-day America: As soon as you get wrapped up in a delightfully nutty story, along comes some self-righteous busybody to tell you how you’re actually being duped or distracted. It's as if people aren’t capable of paying attention to multiple things at once.

In this case, that someone was an anonymous NFL agent speaking to an ESPN access journalist.

Respect to some top-notch cynicism, though even I have a hard time believing that the FBI, Houston police and Mexican authorities all coordinated their efforts in such a way that a story about a Super Bowl jersey recovery would only emerge after one of many former NFL players comes forward with a football-related medical condition. After all, there are a lot of those.

Still, this idea of NFL figures planting dumb stories to obscure ugly truths has some recent precedent. The Washington Post’s Mike Jones earlier this month hinted that 'Skins team president Bruce Allen leaked a scoop to NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport during the combine about a potential three-team trade that would have somehow sent Kirk Cousins to San Francisco, Tony Romo to Washington and an indeterminate amount of draft picks to be bandied among the three teams. Even when it was initially reported, the logic of the deal was ridiculous, so it was easy to believe later that Allen had purposely leaked it to distract from the ongoing drama between the franchise and then-general manager Scot McCloughan.

From now on, this strategy of pushing nonsense stories to deflect from damning ones has to be central to the NFL’s spin control. Anytime a reporter drops another exposé detailing Toradol abuse in the league, another vaguely described source comes forward with a report that Marshawn Lynch is considering a comeback. Evidently there’s no lack of them that the public is willing to believe.

Anyway, here’s a a quick cache of NFL distraction stories the league can deploy in the inevitable event of news about how the league is legitimately evil:

More must-reads:

Customize Your Newsletter

+

Get the latest news and rumors, customized to your favorite sports and teams. Emailed daily. Always free!

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.